Monday, May 18, 2009

More on Peace that Passes Understanding

So ... I've contemplated this time and time again.

I remember when I was in high school - it just seemed like there were other Christians around me who were STRONGER somehow, more at peace with their relationship with God. They seemed like they had almost a slowness about them, not like stupid slowness, but like where the Spirit of God put everything they said/thought/heard through a filter before they finished processing it. I always felt like they had something I didn't. Isn't that strange?

Anyhow - as I'm getting older, I feel like I'm understanding more and more. And someday I'll have that peace about me, that filter that processes everything before I say it, and others will want what I have. *smile*

There are SO many things in this world I cannot understand. It makes no sense to me that God has ALWAYS existed. Everything in my limited world has a definite beginning and end. It makes no sense to me why God would want to create us. It makes no sense to me that Jesus would be willing to die on the cross for me. My mind cannot fathom that there is an invisible God out there, watching me, blessing me, and loving me. The incredulity of the Bible stories I read are WAY beyond my understanding. My limited human mind wants to be able to wrap itself around these ideas, find the logical answers, back things up with science. How on earth did dinosaurs roam? Where did cancer come from? How is it that good people are allowed to suffer, while the jerks are off the hook? I fight within myself sometimes with these things. I guess the biggest thing that comes to haunt me is : Can the Bible really be the final authority? Can it really be God's Word to us? Can it really be infallible?

Sometimes the questions drive me crazy. The doubts plague me. My heart LONGS to believe but my brain keeps interjecting.

And then one day it came to me.

There is NO way for me to understand. My limited human mind will NEVER know all the why's/how's/when's/what's/where's. There is no way. The Lord knew this when He created us. We cannot understand it all.

And that is why He gives us the PEACE that PASSES UNDERSTANDING. So although my brain wants to keep on interrupting my moments of faith with the illogical parts about Christianity - I have faith. I have peace. And the peace He gives me TRANSCENDS my understanding, or lack thereof, I suppose I should say.

Faith isn't logical. It's a blind allegiance to the unseen Creator. I trust that He is real, that He loves me, and that He saved me. And someday - I'll get to Heaven to live with Him, and He will explain it all. But until then, I have the peace that passes understanding to get me through my times of doubt.

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